This episode features a powerful, eye-opening conversation with Trey Tucker, a mental health therapist who has spent nearly a decade working with young men in their 20s and 30s. Trey explains why so many young men today feel stuck, lost, and disconnected—and why the mental health crisis among men is far bigger than most people realize.
From the very beginning, Trey talks about one of the biggest lies young men believe: the idea that they are not good enough. Whether it’s about looks, success, money, skills, or social status, men feel like they are constantly falling short. Social media makes this even worse by showing filtered lives that convince young men they’re failing in comparison. This lie of “not being enough” pushes many to numb out, avoid discomfort, and settle for temporary distractions like video games, scrolling, or living only for the weekend.
Trey shares that many of the young men who come to him aren’t just stressed—they feel lifeless, directionless, and disconnected from their purpose. When they finally seek help, they often say, “I don’t know what I’m doing,” or “Something’s wrong and I can’t figure it out.” Some come voluntarily, realizing they can’t handle everything alone. Others come because a partner pushed them, or because their job performance is slipping. But the root issues are surprisingly similar.
According to Trey, most young men are struggling with the same three questions:
Who am I? Where do I belong? What is my purpose?
He explains that identity and purpose are connected but not the same. Many men confuse their identity with their job, their performance, or their achievements. When their career changes or they fail at something, their entire sense of self collapses. Trey teaches men to separate their worth from what they do, and instead build identity from character, strengths, values, and story.
Purpose, he explains, comes from three things: what you’re passionate about, what you’re skilled at, and what you’ve lived through. Often, your own story prepares you to help the person you once were.
The conversation also explores why younger men today seem “softer” than previous generations. Trey believes it’s not their fault—modern culture keeps men comfortable, indoors, and disconnected from real challenges. In the past, men learned resilience through physical work, outdoor experiences, and real-world pressure. Now, they spend more time on screens and less time building grit. Real toughness, Trey says, comes from facing discomfort—not avoiding it.
One of the biggest dangers he highlights is isolation. Despite being constantly “connected” online, young men are more alone than ever. Without in-person connection, their nervous system never gets the co-regulation and emotional grounding humans naturally need. Trey explains that isolation slowly drives men into anxiety, fear, overthinking, and emotional instability. Humans are designed to be around others, especially men who challenge, support, and understand them.
This episode brings raw truth to the struggles young men face today. Trey’s message is clear: men don’t need to be perfect—they just need connection, purpose, and the courage to face the uncomfortable parts of their lives instead of running from them.